A Whiskey Sour Wipeout Read online

  “Yeah, come on buddy. Listen to Ginger. What can we do to help? Did this old ‘Nam friend of yours have family? Maybe they need some help. You should stop feeling bad for yourself and see if they are alright.”

  Piper stared at the big man and blinked a few times as she searched for her words. “That was compassionate to worry about the man’s family, Guardrail. But, at the same time, aren’t you being a little hard on Dog? They served together in Vietnam and he has suffered a great loss.”

  Digger sat next to Dog and patted him on the back. Digger also nodded no. “Dog is feeling the loss, sure, but I don’t think you understand. He is worried about Star’s dream. And don’t forget the taps acting up. We all know what happens when the Grumper starts acting up like that. The taps were no fluke...it was our ghost chicken trying to warn us.”

  The front door opened and the two spinster sisters entered. Edith announced their presence. “Hello everybody! We missed you all so much. And what did we miss? Lily has been under the weather the last couple of days, but she is feeling better and we thought we would come by to see what's going on?”

  Piper chuckled. “Well, go on Tom. Give ‘em one of your one-of-a-kind summaries.”

  Tom shrugged. “Star had a weird dream and our taps belched some weird, black, smelly beer. Then Dog’s old war buddy had a heart attack and died. See, Piper, it’s not that hard.”

  Lily and Edith pinched their eyebrows like they were just tasked with cracking the mystery of life. Lily spoke, “Well, that was concise, but not entirely helpful.”

  I smiled at Lily’s honesty. “We missed you both. Have a seat, ladies, and we’ll fill you in on some of the details.”

  As Lily and Edith grabbed a seat at their usual table, the front door flew open once again and banged loudly on the bump stop. In the door frame stood Star, her blouse half tucked and her hair a mess. She always looked so pretty and composed, I almost didn't recognize her like this and asked, “What happened to you? You look a little... well, off.”

  Star took a few steps into the pub and shut the door. “That’s an understatement, Ginger. A spirit has been stalking me all day until it finally appeared in front of me. But it chose an odd place and time. As I threw open the curtain to take a shower, it was hovering in my tub.”

  Digger shook his head like the information he just learned hurt. “Wait, a spirit stalked you? How can it do that? And it saw you naked in the shower?

  Star blushed. “Thanks Digger. Now everyone is imagining me naked in the shower.”

  Guardrail shrugged. “Not m...Ah, who am I kidding?”

  I tried to help Star and change the subject. “That sounds horrible. It’s almost like that scene from the movie Psycho.”

  Piper added, “Well not just like that scene, Ginger. The ghost was in the shower and you were looking in. Right?” Piper stared at Star for confirmation.

  Star nodded yes.

  Edith spoke up. “That’s not important. Can’t you see the poor girl is shaken?”

  Dog had been quiet for a while, but broke his temporary silence. “I’m not surprised that something happened to you, Star. But, I am sorry about it for you, that it shook you up. By the way, you should know. I figured out who Harry is and he died this afternoon.”

  Star rushed over to Dog and grabbed his arm. “What? What are you talking about? Who was Harry? Tell me.” She was almost frantic. Now, I understood why she looked unkempt.

  “He was my best friend in Vietnam. We went through a lot together. But no one ever called him Harry. Heck, most didn’t even know his real name. We all knew him as Lugnut.”

  Star’s eyes drooped on hearing of Dog’s loss. “I’m so sorry, Dog. I know your Army friends are important to you. Are you okay?”

  Dog studied the disheveled Star for a second. “I could ask you the same thing.”

  Star blushed and chuckled at the same time, then said, “I’m fine. I rushed over after the spirit appeared, to make sure you were alright. But I am actually a little relieved now because I think this is all starting to make some sense. But I’m not sure my cat is ever coming out from under the bed.”

  “Well, if it makes sense to you, maybe you can share. I am beyond confused.” Dog tried to smile but his sadness prevented it from happening.

  Star took a deep breath. “You must have been important to Harry...”

  Dog cut her off. “It’s Lugnut, no one calls him Harry. Remember?”

  Dixie scrunched her face. “What is it with you military men and nicknames. Dog Breath? Lugnut? Those aren’t even real names. And who comes up with them?”

  Dog shrugged. “It’s just the way it is.”

  Star sighed. “Alright, Lugnut must have been a good friend. I think it was his spirit in my shower and he was worried about you. I am sure of it. And now that I’m in The Grumpy Chicken, I’m getting a feeling. The chicken is relieved that we are starting to figure things out. She is trying to help us.” Star scanned the dining room as if she was trying to see the chicken or another spirit in the dining room.

  Dog held up two fingers. “That’s the second time you said that we're figuring this out. I don’t know why you keep saying that? I’m more lost than ever.”

  Guardrail jumped in. “So, if you know what’s going on, tell us. And can you also tell the limpin’ chicken thank you for me? That she left the pickled eggs alone for a change. Come to think of it, Dixie, give me one of those bad boys.”

  Star smiled at the big motorcycle mechanic. “You just said thank you to her yourself. She knows, I can sense it.”

  Piper could wait no longer. “So, tell us, Star. What is going on?”

  Star took a seat at Edith and Lily’s table. She studied Piper and Ida at the next table, and then smiled at Edith and Lily. “Glad to see you both. It’s been a while. I heard Lily had not been feeling well.”

  Lily tittered. “I’m fine, thank you, Star. Parts of the body just need a rest sometimes when you get to be my age.”

  Ida raised her eyebrows. “Well? You going to tell us, Star, or are we going to have to beat it out of you?”

  Star drew a deep breath. “Alright. Dog’s old Army buddy, Lugnut, died of a heart attack. I think. His spirit was holding his chest when it appeared in my shower. And I had a dream about a man having a heart attack. But that’s not the worst of it. In my dream, he died of a heart attack induced by something a woman gave to him. But for some reason, Lugnut is also worried about Dog and his spirit is trying to send us a message. I don’t think we figured it all out yet, but I'm sure it means that Dog may be in danger.”

  Ida huffed. “Dog? Why would anyone want to hurt Dog?”

  Star shrugged. “I don’t know. Like I said, we haven’t figured it all out yet. But we have to find out. We can’t just sit around and wait for something to happen.”

  Dixie’s voice blared over all the others. “I got to know. All these nicknames are getting on my nerves. Why can’t we just call a man by his name?”

  I raised one eyebrow. “Really, Dixie? With all this going on you’re worried about nicknames?”

  Dixie shrugged her shoulders at me. “It got stuck in my head. I want to know.”

  Digger surprised us all when he answered. “Some names just stick. Like mine.”

  Dixie looked at Digger sideways. “Are you messing with me? You dig graves. That’s not rocket science. But Dog Breath? Lugnut?”

  Dog’s head was hung low, but he raised his chin a little and spoke. But not to us. It was like he was talking to a memory. “Lugnut got his name when he was a teenager. Worked on a pit crew for a race team based out of Statesboro. They raced at tracks all over the southeast. He was a tire changer and could take off five lug nuts, then zip in five new lug nuts in three and a half seconds. So, his nickname was a bit like Digger’s. It was obvious and it just fit.”

  I should not have done it. The boys were pretty tight lipped about their nicknames. Almost like it was some sort of secret handshake. But, my curiosity made me speak. “How did
you get the name Dog Breath?”

  Dog glared at me for a moment with a mixture of surprise and confusion. “I haven’t thought about that for a long time, Ginger. But in ‘Nam, me and Lugnut worked long hours every day. We didn’t get many days off. But when we got leave, we cut loose. More than we should’ve sometimes, but we were young. One time, I had a wicked hangover after a two day bender and a two-star general come into the motor pool for transport. When I spoke to him, he could tell I was hungover. He chewed me out for not being one hundred percent. As part of the scolding he gave me, he said I had breath that smelled worse than a dog’s hind end. Lugnut overheard, and when the general left, he started teasing me about it. He would say I worked like a dog and had the breath to prove it. The others picked up on it and it just stuck. Lugnut wasn’t even trying when he gave me the handle.”

  I could feel the heartache in his voice. He grieved for his lost friend and I was sorry I asked the question. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive for me to ask. I forgot Lugnut gave you your nickname.”

  Guardrail burped then blurted out. “It’s alright, Ginger. We’re all family here. Heck, I got my name from Dog. And I’m not proud of the story leading up to it. I was running with a bad crowd. But even though Dog was dealing with that PTPMS, or whatever they call it, that didn’t stop him from helping me. I was going down the wrong road and he and his family set me straight. I owe a lot to Dog and his family.”

  Dog had tears in his eyes when he spoke. “We helped each other, buddy. I was in bad shape and the PTSD almost drove me over the edge. I was hoping to find a way to fit back into society but it just didn't seem possible. Then when we started the motorcycle shop together, it was like I finally found a way to be a little normal again. It was my security blanket. And it happened because of you. You kept me on the right road, too, going in the right direction. You were acting like a guardrail for my life. Since then, you and your big heart have kept more people on the road going in the right direction during a good week than I have my whole life. You’re a good man and the name Guardrail was a perfect choice for you.”

  Guardrail furrowed his brow. “You haven’t told that story in a long time. But, boy, does that bring back some memories, and emotions.” He punched Dog gently in the arm. “And that’s for making me realize how old we are now.”

  I did not know what to do. The sensitive side of Dog and Guardrail was rarely on display in public. Fortunately, Dixie ended the moment. “Well, now that we're done with the Steel Magnolias minute, I’m not sure you will want that pickled egg you ordered.”

  My experience in the pub taught to pay attention when Dixie’s voice had that tone of disbelief while talking about the pickled eggs. I spun to inspect the pickled egg jar. The sight would be surprising to most people, but I experienced enough in The Grumpy Chicken and knew to expect anything. The pickled egg jar was foaming and overflowing.

  Star chuckled. “The chicken is happy that we were bonding, telling some personal stories. But, she is also concerned about Dog. It is unusual that a spirit feels it necessary to warn an old army pal just after his death. It's the Chicken’s way of letting us know we need to focus and act before it's too late. We have to find out what happened to Lugnut. And we need to protect Dog.”

  Chapter Six

  “Come on, Candy. Grease is about to start! You said you wanted to watch this.” Slick hated the movie, but he wanted to keep her happy.

  “I’ll be right there. I need to finish my hair,” Candy hollered from his small bathroom.

  “Well, hurry up. I’m not made of money and I don’t have one of those fancy beep boop machines that can pause or rewind live TV.” Slick looked at his watch again and confirmed he was right. The movie started in three minutes.

  “I’ll be there in a minute. I hate when you make me hurry.” Candy’s voice squeaked as she yelled so he would hear her.

  Slick rolled his eyes and headed into his efficiency. The refrigerator there may be small, but he kept it well stocked with beer. He threw open the fridge door and grabbed a cold one. The “phst” sound made when he worked the can’s pop top was his favorite sound on earth. He took a long draw of cold beer, then wiped his mouth with his shirt sleeve.

  Candy emerged from the bathroom. “Don’t use your sleeve as a napkin. That is so...crude.”

  “What? It works and makes my shirt smell like beer. Win, win.” Slick smiled when he finished.

  “Men, I will never understand them.”

  “Whoa! Don’t get me started on women. There isn’t a man on the planet that understands them.”

  Candy smiled. “We like it that way. A bit of mystery never hurts. It helps to keep you men on your toes.”

  Slick smiled back. “Hey, this movie is starting. We gonna watch it or what?”

  “Of course, silly.” Candy strolled over to the plaid couch and plopped down in the center.

  Slick followed, sat next to her, and put his arm around her. The opening credits rolled and music started to play. He noticed it made her happy. “There’s that smile. I love when you smile.”

  “You’re such a con artist. That sweet tongue of yours is going to get you into trouble sooner or later. But, what else do you like about me?”

  Slick raised his eyebrows. “Um. Well, let’s see. Your eyes. Yeah definitely your eyes.”

  Candy smiled in response. “And what else?”

  Slick paused, then blurted out, “Your hair. You always have it fixed up so pretty.”

  Candy once again smiled at him. “You sweet talking fool. You better say my hair since I’m the best hairdresser in Statesboro. But, my hair is a mess right now, because you rushed me. I just threw it in a pony tail for now. I’m going to fix it up at the first commercial.”

  “You look fine, baby. Now, shhh. The credits are done. It’s starting.”

  The two love birds cuddled on the couch and watched a young Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta ham it up. Slick took a quick break to run to the refrigerator and grab a second beer.

  “Can’t you wait until the commercial?” Candy pointed at the TV as she spoke.

  “Nope. These beer cans just don’t hold enough beer. I can still see the TV from the kitchenette.” Slick retook his seat. He was quick and his spot was still nice and warm.

  “See, I didn’t miss a thing. Did you miss me?” He grinned like a smart aleck.

  “Yeah. It smelled better for a minute while you were gone.” She returned the know-it-all grin.

  “I deserved that, I guess.”

  A commercial came on and Candy began to rise to go fix her hair, but she stopped on the edge of the couch cushion. “What is this. Did you get a new medication?”

  “No. It’s Lugnut’s. I took it from his place.” Slick’s voice was choppy and he did not look at her.

  Candy raised her eyebrows and huffed. “And why would you do that? Your poor friend just died and you take his heart medication? What’s wrong with you?”

  “I don’t like the way this all happened. Something is not right. I know he had heart issues, but from what he told me the medicine made him healthier than when he was thirty. It was stupid of me, I just did it without thinking. I couldn’t stop wondering if something went wrong with his pills and that's why he had the heart attack.”

  Candy’s eyes melted and she put her hand on Slick’s cheek. She studied him for a moment. “Honey, I know you and your Vietnam friends are tight. And that you worry about each other. It’s very sweet. But, you have to face that you and your friends are getting older. Lugnut’s heart just gave out. The doctors at the VA told him he was lucky to do as well as he did. That’s what they said, right?”

  Slick's eyes lowered and he looked at his beer can. “Yeah, I guess. But, it still doesn’t feel right. And it really sucks!”

  Candy smiled and winced at the same time. Slick was grieving and her heart ached for him. But a sweet man was exposed as the grief revealed his true self. It was beautiful and she felt joy at having him in her life. “I’m so
rry. I shouldn’t have been so blunt. But, I don’t want you going off on some elaborate conspiracy thing.”

  Slick chuckled. “It’s alright. I know you are right. And I’m not smart enough to come up with a conspiracy theory.”

  Candy snickered. “Don’t sell yourself short. You were smart enough to get me.”

  He smiled and then kissed her. The commercial break ended and the movie resumed. “You missed your chance to finish your hair.”

  “It was worth it. I’ll go the next commercial.” She gave him another kiss and scooted back into the dent in the center cushion and settled in.

  The movie followed the script they knew by heart. Candy lost count of how many times she watched this particular movie. It was one of her favorites, but watching with Slick made it perfect.

  It is a sign of our modern times that commercials seem to get more air time than the show. So, it didn't take long until the next break.

  “Here’s my chance. Be right back.” Candy popped up and ran to the bathroom.

  Slick was putting it off. But, Candy was right. He had worked himself into a ball of nerves over Lugnut’s death and it was silly. He needed to calm himself and let it go.

  The oxygen was right next to the couch. He just picked up a fresh tank and it was full. With Candy in the bathroom, it was a good time to aerate his lungs. It would help calm his nerves and he hated when she saw him use the mask.

  He hooked up the tube, connecting the mask to the tank. Then he checked to make sure everything was set up right. When he was sure it was, he turned the valve on and put the mask over his mouth and nose.

  Candy loved fixing her hair and she wanted to look good for Slick. She spent an extra minute to get it just right. The wavy bob was being difficult today, but she coerced her hair into shape.

  Once she was satisfied with the hairstyle, she brushed her teeth. She didn’t want her breath to smell, either. Now, she felt presentable.

  Candy walked like she was on a cat walk out into the living room. She screamed when she saw Slick. Slick’s head had fallen onto the back of the couch and he was unconscious.