Blue Plate Slayer Read online

  Blue Plate Slayer

  by

  Constance Barker

  Copyright 2019 Constance Barker

  All rights reserved.

  Similarities to real people, places or events are purely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Sign up for Constance Barker’s New Releases Newsletter

  I will never spam or sell your email address

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Thanks for Reading

  Chapter One

  “I am not going to dance the merengue at my wedding!”

  Babs and Ruby had all kinds of crazy ideas for my wedding lately, so I had to put my foot down. Firmly. They seemed obsessed with an event that was still three months away, for some reason, as we sat sipping our afternoon coffee in a window booth at my establishment, the Old School Diner. I had to set them straight.

  “I’m going to waltz, like a proper princess.”

  It was a slow afternoon in the last week of March at my small but beloved diner in the quiet town of Paint Creek, Kentucky. Try as I might to change the topic from my impending nuptials, my waitress Babs and best friend Ruby would not be deterred from talk of my wedding.

  “But it’ll be perfect!” Babs insisted. “It’s the national dance of the Dominican Republic, and I found the perfect beach there, where you and Brody can get married, Mercy.”

  Old Red, our 72-year-old regular, spun his stool at the counter toward us from his perch next to Jake Carter and Jake Junior. With his toothless smirk aimed right at me he said, “The lady has a point, Mercy. You can dance the merengue and have a big lemon meringue pie for your wedding cake. I know you’re fond of yellow.”

  He chuckled at his own play on words, but the others actually thought it was a great idea.

  “Whoa,” I said, flashing my palms to get them to pause. “It’s my wedding, and it’s going to be right here in Paint Creek. My first dance will be a waltz, and the cake will be lemon, but it won’t be a pie. It’s three months away, in June, so let’s just talk about the nice spring weather we’ve been having. Besides, the budget of a diner owner and a County Sheriff doesn’t allow for the kind of extravagance you guys are always talking about. Brody and I are in our 30s, and even though it’s the first wedding for both of us, we intend to keep it simple.”

  Deloris, my crusty but lovely 63-year old counter manager shuffled out from her command post behind the counter to fill our coffee cups.

  “Mercy is right, ladies. It’s her wedding. Let her do it her way.”

  “Thank you, Deloris,” I said with a smug look at Babs and Ruby.

  “But what about...” Babs, our short, round waitress who handled the booths and tables, raised her eyebrows at Deloris two times, like some kind of secret signal. “You know. She doesn’t have to have a cheap wedding.”

  Red turned away, and Jake and Junior went back to their afternoon snack at the counter too, becoming suspiciously quiet. Ruby tried to give me a blank expression, but she looked like the cat that just swallowed the canary.

  I know these people well, and I sensed that a scheme was afoot.

  “What’s going on here, girls?” I asked in my all-knowing voice. “What are you up to?”

  “Go ahead, Babsy,” Deloris said. “Tell her.”

  Babs shook her head.

  “Tell me what?”

  Deloris stuck two fingers into the top portion of her tall beehive hairdo. She pulled out some papers and cards. After stashing her driver’s license and some credit cards back into her hair, she had two folded sheets of paper left in her hand. She unfolded one and handed it to me. It was something she had printed from a computer.

  I gave her a quizzical and suspicious look as I took a look at it. At the top it said FunderDome Dotcom.

  “What’s this, Deloris?”

  “Just what it looks like. It’s your wedding account at this website that people use to fund good causes.”

  “Good causes? My wedding?”

  “Well,” Babs said excitedly, “You know the diner got a lot of publicity all over the state and even made the national news when we had that mystery dinner theater play and that poor girl got killed. And then they reported when you had the fire right after that too, and...”

  “And,” Ruby continued where Babs left off, “you remember, the big city reporters came back to cover your re-opening when you rebuilt after the fire and, we also finished the play that night. That’s when Brody proposed to you.”

  “I have a vague recollection of that, yes.”

  “And the TV station had hundreds of callers wanting to know how they could donate to your wedding,” Ruby continued.

  “So, Channel 7 called the diner here and asked us if we would set up a FunderDome page for you,” Deloris said.

  “So, we did!” Babs added.

  The guys turned back around facing us again now.

  “How much you got in there now?” Junior asked as he put a forkful of his hot beef sandwich into his mouth.

  All eyes were on me as I looked back to the page Deloris had printed up from the account.

  My eyes got wide. “This can’t be right. It says there’s over 18 thousand dollars in here. I can’t take this – that’s crazy!”

  “We set the goal at $5,000,” Ruby said, “so you could get a nice dress, a big cake, and lots of flowers, but the people kept on giving.”

  “I don’t need all this,” I told them. “I saw a nice used dress online for seven-hundred dollars, and I can get all the wildflowers I need in the meadow along the highway.”

  There was an odd silence again.

  Deloris unfolded the other piece of paper. “Seven hundred won’t be enough to get you in the door here.” She handed me the letter she was holding.

  “It’s from the TV show, This Dress Is the Best! on the Modern Living cable network,” Babs said. “They record it at Gina Stenfield’s Bridal in Atlanta. They heard about you from the TV reports and the fundraiser, and they want you to be on their show.”

  “Next week,” Ruby added.

  “And we accepted,” Junior said, quite matter-of-factly.

  I tried to speak, but there were too many stray thoughts floundering around in my head to form a coherent sentence.

  “So, what do you think, Mercy?” Babs said, putting her hands on top of my outstretched arm on the table. She was shaking with excitement.

  “I’ll tell you what I think: I think you’ve all lost your minds! I’m just a simple Kentucky girl who runs a little neighborhood diner in my hometown.”

  “Don’t be silly,” Deloris said, sitting down next to me and sliding me over a bit. “You were a big-city ER nurse for half a dozen years or more. You hobnobbed with doctors and businessmen and politicians and all kinds of high society folks. And you’re a girl. Every girl has dreamt about a big fancy wedding with a beautiful dress in a beautifully decorated, classy venue. And you deserve it. You’re going to have a big, beautiful wedding with a fancy dress, and that’s that.”

  “Yup,” said Babs.

  “Th
at’s right,” Jake said.

  “We’ve already decided,” said Red.

  “Do it for us,” Junior said as he chewed another bite. “You’ll be a real pretty bride, and think of how happy it will make all of us to see you on TV and in a fancy dress at your wedding. And Brody is really excited about this too.”

  The front door opened, and my fiancé, Sheriff Brody Hayes, walked in.

  “Did I hear my name?” he asked. “What did I do this time?”

  He didn’t wait for a response and came over to our big booth by the window. Deloris got up and Brody sat next to me, giving me a little peck on the cheek.

  “How’s my bride today?” he asked softly with a loving smile.

  “Confused.” I said.

  “We spilled the beans on the wedding fund,” Junior told him.

  “And the TV show,” Deloris added, heading behind the counter to get coffee for Brody.

  “Great! So, what do you think about all that, sweetheart?”

  “She thinks we’re all crazy,” Junior said.

  “And,” Babs added sullenly, “she wants a simple dress and a simple wedding. She’d probably be happy getting married under the crab apple tree behind the library.”

  “Sounds fine to me, as long as I still get my bride.”

  “Is that what you think Mercy really wants, Sheriff?” Deloris asked, reaching for the coffee pot.

  “I’m all coffeed out, Deloris. A lemonade would be great. Tell me what you really want, Mercy.”

  “Did you read that whole letter from the show, Mercy?” Deloris asked, bringing a big glass of lemonade to Brody. “It says they’re going to bring in one of their fancy designers for you.”

  I was starting to feel a rumbly in my tumbly about marrying Brody in a designer gown.

  “Well, that would be nice. And maybe even a little exciting, I guess.”

  “Then it’s decided!” Red said. “You’ll go on the show and find the wedding dress of your dreams!”

  Brody looked at me and whispered. “It’s your call, Mercy.”

  I inhaled and nodded. “Okay...yes. Let’s do it.”

  Chapter Two

  “Good,” Brody said. “I already took vacation time for next week.”

  “They will fly you and four others to Atlanta,” Ruby informed us.

  “And put you all up in a fancy hotel too,” Babs added.

  “Wow. Well, I’d better bring my bridesmaids,” I said. There’s plenty of money in the fund to get them all nice dresses too. And I’ll need advice on picking out my dress. So...Ruby, Deloris, Babs...will you come with me?”

  “I’ll think about it,” Deloris said, trying to hide her excitement.

  “Yes!” Babs and Ruby chimed in unison.

  “I’ve got room for one more, Brody,” I said with a sly grin. “Would you like to join us? You can’t see the dress, of course, but there are a lot of things we can all do in Atlanta.”

  “Well...”

  He couldn’t get a sentence out to agree before Junior spoke up.

  “Hey! I know it’s still a long time before the wedding, but pops and I don’t start our next big job till the middle of April, so maybe we should all go and have a bachelor party for you in the big city, Brody.”

  “That’s a lot of airfare and hotel rooms, Junior,” Deloris said. She didn’t seem too keen on the idea of the men joining us.

  “That’s actually not a bad idea, Junior,” Brody said. “I could ask the sheriff there to get us some rooms at the YMCA. It wouldn’t cost much, and we could catch the season opener between the Cubs and the Braves. They got that new SunTrust Park there that just opened last year, or maybe it was the year before. I haven’t seen a big-league ballgame for ten or twelve years.”

  Jake took off his Cubs cap and scratched his head with his thumb as he nodded. “I’d like to see the Cubbies myself,” he said. “And we could save a lot of money by driving your camper there, Brody. There are lots of campsites along the way, and I’m not too keen on airplanes anyway.”

  “Me neither,” Junior added. “If we take it slow, we can see a lot of sites and camp out maybe two or three nights along the way.”

  “Then it’s a plan!” Brody said with a smile, holding his glass of lemonade up to the group. “Cheers!”

  Red had a very concerned, distant look and scratched his nearly bald head between the last long strands of his formerly red hair.

  “What’s the problem, old man?” Deloris asked him as she topped off his cup of coffee. “The girls will go out ahead and get a dress for Mercy, and the boys will drive and meet up with us later.”

  He looked down and shook his head slowly. “Well, I just don’t think I’m going to be able to make the trip, Deloris. I hope you all have a great time, but I’ll just hold down the fort here in Paint Creek.”

  “What are you talking about, Red?” I walked up behind his stool and put my hand on his drooping shoulder. “We need all of ‘Team Old School’ there. We can’t celebrate my wedding without you. It would feel all wrong.”

  “I’m just getting too old for all this roaming around, Mercy. I can’t keep up with you kids anymore.”

  Smoke Kowalski, my long-time chef, walked in from the kitchen wiping his hands on a white towel. “Kids? I’m 67 years old, Red, and you can still beat me in arm wrestling and spend a whole day running around at the county fair or rodeo while the rest of us have to take breaks to rest. And Deloris here is...”

  Deloris interrupted before Smoke could blurt out her age. “I’ll be celebrating the 34th anniversary of my 29th birthday next month. Now what’s really the problem, Red?”

  There was silence for a moment, and then Junior rinsed down his last bite of lunch with his lemonade. “I can’t believe you guys haven’t figured it out yet,” he said. All eyes turned to Junior for enlightenment. “Red can hardly make it to Calhoun sitting in a car or Dad’s pickup truck. And he hates camping. He won’t go hunting with us when we’re going to stay overnight.”

  “Is that true, you big baby?” Deloris said, shuffling towards the kitchen. “I’ll go warm up a bottle of milk for you.”

  “Deloris!” Babs hollered. “Stop it. I’m sure there’s a reason, isn’t there, Red?”

  He looked at me and then down at the counter. “Well, I can handle car rides if the road’s not too bumpy. Otherwise I get motion sickness. Man was made to ride horses, not cars. And I’m a little bit claustrophobic. You all know I don’t like elevators or closed spaces. It just gets me sweaty and nervous. Makes it hard to breathe. But camping out in the woods is just, well, I can’t do it because...”

  We looked at him as he paused. It seemed like he had a secret he didn’t want to share with us.

  “Aw, nothing.”

  Jake spun halfway around on his stool and put his hands behind his head. “He doesn’t like camping ever since a bobcat dragged his baby brother out of a tent when he was 4 or 5 years old.”

  “But you don’t have a little brother, Red,” Babs said. Then she froze. “Oh.”

  “So, you see,” Red said. “I’ll be better off just staying here.”

  “No way,” I said. “You’ll come with us.”

  Deloris’s head snapped toward me. “What do you mean, ‘with us,’ Mercy?”

  “With the ladies. Simple solution,” Brody said. “Red will fly out with the girls, and the guys will meet up with him when we get there.”

  “That’s right,” I said. “It will be perfect! If Brody’s driving, we’ll have one extra plane ticket. Red flew out to the coast to see his nieces and nephew last year, so we know he’s okay with flying. What do you say, Red?”

  His face lit up. “Well, planes and buses are big enough, so I don’t mind them. That would work for me.”

  Then Deloris spoke up.

  “Aren’t you going to ask me what I say, Mercy? You know who he’s going to want to sit next to on the plane. Then he’ll be flashing those new choppers at me expecting a kiss or pretending he’s asleep so he ca
n snuggle that bald chrome dome of his in my tender and ample bosom. I don’t like it. This is supposed to be a trip for the girls.”

  “I won’t be any trouble, Deloris,” Red said, flashing his perfect dentures, which he must have just slipped in. “I promise!”

  “I don’t know...”

  “It’ll be good for you too, Deloris,” Junior said with a serious look on his face. “You’re usually kind of nice to Babs and Mercy, but we all know you’re never really happy unless you have someone to complain about. And you love to give Red a hard time. Right?”

  Junior looked around at the rest of us for some support, but we were all hiding our faces, trying not to laugh. Deloris leaned on the counter with both of her elbows and put her face close to Junior’s. His eyes got wide and his face turned bright red.

  “I spit in your lemonade today, Junior.”

  All of us, including Junior, knew she would never do that, though she did like to threaten the regulars with that line. Junior’s eyes were locked on hers as he picked up his empty glass and took a few of the remaining ice cubes into his mouth.

  “No wonder it was so sweet.”

  That was all it took to get a good laugh out of all of us. I think even Deloris might have cracked a slight smile.

  “Alright, alright,” Deloris said as she walked to the coffee urn to fill her cup. “I’ll do it for Mercy. But you can’t make me like it.”

  Chapter Three

  “Forty miles to the next KOA campgrounds, Brody,” Jake said, sliding the small window open between the camper box and the cab of the pick-up truck. “Should be dark right about the time we get there. Maybe we should set up camp for the night. What do you think?”

  “Sounds good to me,” Brody replied. “I’m getting hungry for those steaks that Smoke put in the cooler. What do you think, Smoke?”

  Smoke was in the front seat with Brody, and the Carter men were in the back in the camper.

  “Well, we’ve only been on the road for three hours, with our late start after we dropped the ladies off at the airport and all. But it’ll take an hour to get the grill set up and cook the meat. I wouldn’t mind stopping soon and stretching these old muscles and bones, Brody.”